Other stepmoms do you have to deal with this and how do u handle it?

my bf and i live together for the last 4 yrs.he has joint c and equal and set visitation with his exwife for thier 9yr old son.on the days/weekends my bf does not have his son i tend to make plans for us to do things together.well his ex tends to call sometimes last min or weeks in advance the change the schedule around to suit her.the problem is my bf will discuss all the details with her and agree to what ever she wants 1st before he even checks with me to see if i had anything planned.yes i know emergencies come up but her getting a hot date does not count in my book.i have told him i would just like a phone call to see if i had anything planned before he agrees to any changes.most of the time he will have an excuse why he could not call me(forgot,to busy at work)i think hes just afraid of her and knows she will have a fit if he says to her %26quot;i have to check with sue(me) 1st%26quot; as she still wants to call the shots.is this worth fighting over with my bf because thats what its come to.
Other stepmoms do you have to deal with this and how do u handle it?
This will always be a tricky situation for you. First, consider the child he has...that will always be important to him, and in many cases, a child sadly is used as a tool to make one ex-spouse do what the other ex-spouse wants. In some regards, the ex-wife may simply have those needs come up... in other regards, she may be using such occurances as her own excuse or means of manipulation. Go carefully in talking with your boyfriend about this, after all, this is his child.

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